How to know you’re loved in a pandemic
People think that they know the answer, “Oh, I know it when I see it; I know it when I feel it; I know it when I hear it.” But how do you know that your partner is experiencing being loved?
Covid has tested our relationships, and while reports of divorce are up, so are reports from people saying they’ve grown closer than ever before, even among couples who’ve been together for decades.
What accounts for the relationships that last through severe stresses like Covid, versus those that fall apart in the face of such a challenge?
Much of it boils down to a simple question that couples almost never think to ask each other: “How do you know that I truly love you?”
Most people think they know the answer to that question — and most are wrong.
Therefore, “How do we each get the experience of being loved?” is perhaps the core, the kernel of the question.
The problem is twofold.
First, we can never really know what another person is thinking or feeling: we can only observe their behavior and draw inferences and conclusions from that.
